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Yes, sex over 40 SHOULD be more FUN!

Sex in our teens and twenties can be a bit rushed. It is easy to dive in without savouring the true pleasures that sex can bring us. With sex over 40, you and your partner will probably experience a number of physical and emotional changes that can have an impact on your level of intimacy, sexual activity and pleasure. These can have a very positive effect.

Sex over 40

As we age, sex may not happen as often and it probably last a little longer. But taking longer doesn’t make it any less fun; in fact, it can make it even more fun. While your sex drive may decrease with age (related to dropping levels of testosterone in both women and men), they should not decrease substantially. Practice makes perfect, so the more sex you have, the more fun it becomes. Isn't time you had more fun over 40?

Think differently about sex over 40

Sex over 40 is much more than just penetration. All kinds of touch are stimulating and pleasurable. Take the time to explore each other’s bodies and find out what turns each other on. Touch is a great alternative or addition to intercourse. It can simply mean kissing and holding each other. It can also mean slow stroking, sensual massage, mutual masturbation or oral sex.

Sex over 40 should be for fun

There is nothing wrong with sex for sex’s sake. Sometimes a "quicky" just fits the bill However, If you are in a long-term or monogamous relationship, keeping sexually active doesn’t always have to mean that you are both in the mood. Sex over 40 can sometimes just mean taking a bit of time to give your partner pleasure because that is what you want to do for them. Masturbation (self or mutual) is also a good way to keep sexually active and is a totally healthy and wholesome activity, either alone or together. Take the time to explore new things, such as telephone sex, online chatting, erotic literature and books, adult DVDs, fantasies, dressing up and a whole lot more.

Sex over 40 - use it!

It’s hard to get back into any activity if you haven’t done it for a while, so maintaining an active sex life can be the solution! You don’t always have to wait for both partners to have both the time and the inclination. Sex should always be a mutual agreement, but sometimes you might want to stimulate yourself or engage in quick sexual intercourse sessions with your partner, just to keep active and interested. Find different ways to satisfy each other (or yourself) and to keep sexually active.

Oral sex over 40 is wonderful

Perform oral sex on each other more often. Most men and women enjoy being on the receiving end of oral sex. Not everyone likes to give it. If you’re uncomfortable giving oral sex, try to find out what’s bothering you. Do you think it’s wrong or dirty? Are you unsure of what to do? Do you dislike the taste? Do you feel ashamed? Talk with your partner and see if you can discover a solution to make it more fun for you. Semen is clean and sterile and not at all dirty or unpleasant. Try tasting it next time you masturbate together. If you really fear your partner ejaculating in your mouth, ask him to avoid doing this. Oral sex binds a couple together. The main reason men stray out of a relationship is that they want to experience oral sex. Get used to saying "please suck me off", or "lick me until I come". Oral sex isn't dirty, wrong or unpleasant - it's wonderful for both parties!

Masturbation over 40

Mutual masturbation can give either party (or you both), a brief yet affectionate encounter with a a great release. Not all sexual activity has to be long and leisurely. If you’re pressed for time or have conflicting schedules, something quick helps keep you connected. If one partner isn't in the mood for intercourse, then it is great for one partner to masturbate the other one. Try it at unusual times or in unusual places, such as downstairs, in the car, at the cinema or in the woods. The more you experience orgasm, the longer your sexual feelings will last into old age. Tell your partner what you enjoy and do not be afraid to ask for whatever your pet name is for this delightful activity. (Wanking, Tossing off, Jerking, Shaking, Cuddling, Fondling etc.

Lubricate over 40

Use a lubricant and use it generously. Make it a part of your sensual overture. It will help increase the woman’s natural lubrication, reduce irritation or make a penis delightfully slippery and sensitive for manual stimulation. Flavoured lubricants are also available, whcih can make oral sex a lot more fun. You can even experiment with fruit juice, chocolate sauce, golden syrup or many other kitchen cupboard ingredients.

Communicate over 40

Communication through talking and touching each other brings you and your partner closer together. Opening up the lines of communication, when both partners are willing to try something a bit different, can be arousing in itself. Try it and see what happens.

Discuss the changes you are going through and how you can accommodate each other during sex. Try different positions, a little bit of lubrication, massage, cuddling. Ask your partner about his or her needs. Instead of saying what you don’t like or criticising, try being positive and offering an alternative. “Instead of...” is a great starter. “Instead of starting lying down on the bed, let’s try starting by standing up in the hallway.” Share your fantasies and try making each other’s fantasies come true. Explore erotica – picture books, stories or movies can be fun to share – and see if you can find something that turns you both on.

Routine over 40

Change your routine. Sometimes it’s just a matter of making a few small changes in your routine. Change the time of day when you have sex to the time when you have the most energy.

Variations over 40

Try sex the morning instead of at the end of a long day. Try a new position. Even changing your usual side of the bed adds a bit of variety. If you always do it in the bedroom, try another room in the house if your family situation allows you a bit more privacy at certain times. If you always do it on the weekends, try a few mid-week breaks. Give yourself the time you need to get aroused and enjoy the journey. Create romance. While it may take a little longer to get aroused, take that time to explore each other’s bodies and put a little bit of romance back into your lives together. Start fondling each other under the table in the restaurant, in the taxi on the way home, then continue in the bedroom or downstairs. Try having sex in unusual or unlikely places and promise to fulfil your partner's fantasies, however rude they may be. Sex is about intimacy and most real sexual intimacy is in the mind.

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